hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
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