Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just cropdusted the office
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
