I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
