just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
