wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
