Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
no more duck duck goose at the bar
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize