the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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