Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
