I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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