is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
