So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
