so that wasnt chicken after all
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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