READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
