420 ftw
After last night, I could never be a politician.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
