Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
