it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
