It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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