It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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