I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
ttyl tear gas
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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