"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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