So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
