there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
