Where is the hickey?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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