Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
