He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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