she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
handjob tips. give me some.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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