Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
