Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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