Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
