Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
