is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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