I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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