HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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