it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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