I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
