I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
