You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
