I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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