Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you had me at cake vodka
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
