Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
