Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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