My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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