Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
