Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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