why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
