She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
