East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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