whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
