Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
