omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
