I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
