Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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