3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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