Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
