Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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